1. if I befriend you it might be solely based on your level of body heat and I make no apologies
  2. I sleep with two hot water bottles so the kettle is mine your tea is not worthy I need my hot walters please leave me and my kettle to our business transaction
  3. sleep next to me? wear more clothes, I will suck out your heat like some sort of vampire leech
  4. cold hands cold feet GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR CLOTHES I NEED THEM MORE THAN YOU (unless you are in need, then I’m just being greedy and moany you can totally keep your clothes)
  5. If I’m not shivering or chattering (which isn’t really much of the time) then consider yourself blessed to be in my company at that precious moment
  6. that ‘girls steal boys hoodies’ thing? I will steal anyone’s hoody, I do not discriminate by gender or by sex. Just give me that hoody my ears are cold
  7. but I like playing with cold ears on people or dogs but just not my own cold metal ears
  8. I may sleep with 2 hot water bottles but I also sleep with a cold fan on my face because it makes me feel like I’m in a pretty meadow somewhere with a fresh breeze on my face so DONT QUESTION MY WAYS, THEY COMPLETE ME
  9. rub my hands to warm me up please or I will turn blue very rapidly
  10. I’m not cold because I’m pale, I’m pale because I’m cold
  11. or the other way round
  12. I don’t know
  13. it sounded poetic
  14. anyway
  15. I’M A COLD PERSON share with me your problems


One thought on “cold person problems

  1. My wife has a similar thermal biology. In the Winter, she puts her glacially-cold feet on my legs when I’m sleeping to steal my heat. Or at least she used to, until we got some dogs, who snuggle up to her under the covers like little heaters for her.


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