Okay so I am currently in Jamaica! CRAZY RIGHT I moan about English summers and I’m NOW IN THE CARIBBEAN DURING THEIR HOT SEASON I’m an idiot and I’m melting but golly its beaut here.

So I’m sat on a sofa on the balcony of the most gorgeous luxury villa, watching the Jamaican world go by while the rest of the gang are in the infinity pool below, the gym or reclining on the lower veranda, reading. Sounds like a movie right? I think it is. The only thing reassuring me that its real is the bright red skin on my chest and the heat rash on my thighs….itchily bringing me back down to earth.

I DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT understand how people live in this weather. Its muggy and clammy and sticky all the time and its insane. The staff here all wear black trousers and shirts meanwhile I’m trying to google a way to remove my skin safely because even that is one too many layers. I do understand how people live in Jamaica though. I don’t eat spicy food but every meal we’ve had has been fresh and delicious, only optionally spicy with sauces. The scenery is MAGICAL like I SAW A HUMMINGBIRD IN THE GARDEN and there are fuzzy moths the size of my hand, and hawks, and adorable lizard friends and beetles that fly in your mouth when youre trying to talk and then hides on the back of your neck and then escapes but sits under the glass dinner table while you eat to mock you (okay… still bitter about that one). My point is, the wildlife is like a storybook. I haven’t even mentioned the fact that the Caribbean Sea is turquoise and crystal clear and it seems endless in the best way possible. No wonder pirates like it, you could probably see sunken treasure miles down because the water is so clean. And everywhere is SO green its like being in a rainforest.

But dude I’m so freakin hot.

Without the aircon I’d be a melted puddle of broken olive on the floor, likely steaming and evaporating becuase its so warm so basically I’d actually turn into water vapour and float away on the hot air and join the water cycle..  so without the aircon I would become a cloud. An olive shaped cloud.

(Luckily we do have AC as my Texan pals call it…. I’m having the best time learning the Texan language…it’s so much fun)

The moral of this story though kids is don’t let your “normal” way of living get in the way of experiencing new things. I am an England lover through and through. ..probably will live there forever because I love the weather; the changing seasons from red autumn leaves to icy breezes of winter, to fresh daffodils in green spring and the freedom of summer. If I moved anywhere else it would be to France, Normandy or Brittany where the weather is similar and the countryside and history is just as sensational. I HATE the heat, I never want to be tanned, I am cripplingly self conscious so the idea of a hot beach holiday scares me because I’d be barely clothed…I don’t like long haul flights because I hate other people and there’s always a shitty little child kicking your chair or throwing raisins at you. I hate the public, especially when stuck in the same cramped seat for hours. .

But look where I am.
Thanks to my wonderful Texan (adopted) family Joe and Carla, I’m in the most luxurious villa I could imagine, spending the week with the loveliest bunch of people I could wish for, in the most breathtakingly beautiful island and having a fantastic time. I’ve snorkelled (though got stuck falling up a rock trying to get out and had to be rescued like an awful mermaid) and chilled on a beach, I’ve lounged by the pool and played shuffleboard in the games room, had a massage downstairs and walked among the lime and coconut trees. I’ve tried jerk sauce (okay I almost died) and eaten fresh mango and starfruit and sugar cane every morning, I’ve watched the evening fall into blackness after an orange sunset and seen brand new constellations.  I’ve experienced so many new things and got to know all these wonderful new people and all because I said “Yeah, why not!”

Never let yourself hold yourself back

Go for it

As Confuscious once said in the ancient Chinese proverb…


Peace out man

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